another knitting blog

bear 1.0

The report on Stitch DC will have to wait until next time. I've got a new friend to introduce.

I spent several hours last night stitching the features onto the first felted bear. The nose was crooked or misplaced the first twenty or so times I tried. I eventually got it on straight and relatively even.

Next, I stitched the mouth. The first side looked good and was just a little turned up on the end; but for the life of me, I couldn't get the other side turned up at the same winsome angle without another twenty attempts.

Happily, the eyes went on with the first try. I dug into the button box to see what would work and came up with some small brown/black buttons I originally bought to put on my Mosaic vest. This is probably a better use.

I stuffed him with fiberfill--the head is packed a little more firmly than the body--and sewed up the hole in his side.

I'm in love.

I brought the little guy to work today to show him off. As you can imagine, he was a big hit. However, everyone in inevitably asked the same question: "What's his name?" He doesn't have a name. Nothing comes to mind. Besides, I'm not sure that he'll be staying with me and I don't think it fair to name him if it's just going to change. Right now I'm calling him 'bear'; that seems to be working fine.

A couple of people remarked that he is naked. Well, duh, he's a bear. And anyway, it's summer--much too warm for a bear to be wearing clothes.

People also said, "You could sell those!" No, I couldn't. The bears are knit from a copyrighted pattern and I would have to receive permission to use it to produce bears for sale and would have to pay Fiber Trends for that privilege. So, all my bears will be gifts [or knit on commision with the price including the purchase of a new pattern for every bear and tremendous markup for labor]. But truthfully, if all the bears turn out this cute, I may not be able to give any of them away. I may end up surrounded by a sloth of bears.

Bear sat on my desk all day today watching over me and smiling his silent approval. He is very encouraging. I'm considering taking him to work with me everyday to keep me company and cheer me up when I get stressed. There's nothing strange about that, right?

weekend with the folks

Although I am usually content to spend the entire weekend close to home with occasional expeditions out for necessary provisions such as lattes, chocolate croissants, and brie & sprout sandwiches on 6-grain bread; this weekend, I ventured out both days to attend the Smithsonian Folklife Festival.

[You can click here or on the right to see my report on Scottish knitting at last year's festival].

The themes for this year's festival were Haiti, Music in Latino Culture, and Mid-Atlantic Maritime Communities. While I don't know if any future festival will ever match the grandeur that was 2002's The Silk Road, every festival has its own interests and charms. This year, the weather was beautiful and there was plenty to see.

On Saturday, I met up with Chelsea who, appropriately enough, I met at the Montgomery County Knitting Meetup.

We hit the festival and headed for Haiti. We saw Haitian crafts, culture, and some strange and wonderful things like these papier-mâché masks. [You can click on all the pictures in this post for a bigger view].

Naturally, on the way out Chelsea and I had to make a stop at the festival market and the next door Haitian Market. That's were I bought this ferocious painted metal dog who now guards my keys.

We rested on a bench in the garden behind the Smithsonian castle and did some knitting. [Ah, knitting, the break that refreshes].

After our break, we stopped in at the National Museum of Natural History where we checked out the insect exhibit [and the gift shop, of course]. This little guy came home with me; he's a beaded chameleon from Purple Rhino Imports.

Today, I went back down to the festival with 'the' Michelle, Genia, and Genia's husband and youngest son who is also a ninja turtle. A second trip to the festival with new people, especially a five-year-old ninja turtle, made the festival a new experience.

I took this picture in the metal cutting tent, primarily to show the bicycle chain earrings on the woman. It wasn't until I downloaded the photos tonight that I noticed junior coming in for a landing on this metal momma's breast. She looks quite surprised about it.

We made another trip to the marketplace and this time I left with a half pound of Haitian coffee.

On the way home we stopped at Stitch DC. [Another new knitting shop!] More on that next time.

The Three Bears

Once upon a time, there were three bears: two knit from Reynolds Lite-Lopi and one knit from Plymouth Galway. They were all knit from the same Fiber Trends pattern on the same size needle.

One day, a giant came along and stuffed them into pillow cases and threw them into a boiling whirlpool. "Let us out! Let us out!", they cried.

When the giant opened the pillow cases, they jumped out and noticed that they had started to shrink. "What strange magic!" However, the magic effected Galway bear the most; he had shrunk more than the Lopi bears.

Two more times, the giant stuffed the three bears into the pillow cases and threw them into the magic whirlpool. "Poor little bears!"

After the bears came out of the whirlpool the third time, the giant stuffed the damp Galway bear with plastic grocery bags and worked his stiff little body into shape. He had to admit that he was very cute; at least, he thought he was, but without eyes he couldn't see.

Eventually, Galway bear and the Lopi brothers were reunited. They were all happy to see...er...be with each other again. The End.

I stuffed the Galway bear while he was still damp because, as the most felted, he was the firmest and needed the most muscle to get him into a good bearlike shape. I stuffed the head of one of the Lopi bears just to see how they were going to turn out. They are much more pliable, so it shouldn't be too hard to mold them into shape with a little steam or rewetting. I'll stuff them all with fiberfill after that.

I was surprised at how much more the Galway felted than the Lopi. I expected all the bears to shrink down to about the size of the little bear. Also, there is still noticeable stitch definition on the Lopi bears but none on the Galway bear.

The books on the chair came in the mail today. They were both 50% off from the Interweave Press Hurt Book & Magazine Sale. These particular books are now sold out, but there are still a few interesting titles left. Check it out.

things other than knitting (and also knitting)

First off, I really am OK. I'm pretty sure that I will keep blogging sans comment links. I don't know just why it makes a difference, but I feel that a weight has been lifted. Besides, I got some very nice emails of support and concern, so I'll know you're out there. I also know that there are wonderful local knitters who stop by here from time to time and a few far off friends who like to check up on me. So, I'm gonna do my thing and send my little messages off into the ether; and if you are so inclined, you may send a message back via the email link at the bottom of the right-hand column.

OK, enough of that.

Lately, I've been feeling a need for more creative expression, more than knitting alone can provide [Yes, there, I've said it: I've been unfaithful to knitting]. During my websurfing time I've gone beyond the knit blogs and have found other sites to inspire me.

I think it started with Another Girl at Play. This site is devoted to the work and creative journeys of female artists of all kinds. Twenty-seven artists give their answers to a set of questions about their training, inspirations, obstacles, and successes. Although each artistic path is different, what seems to be a constant is the need to take risks. (Belief in oneself and a strong support system doesn't seem to hurt either).

I read these profiles and followed the links to many of the artists' homepages. I followed the favorite links from these pages to even more artists' home pages, spreading out on the web to places I wouldn't normally just stumble into. I eventually arrived at the online journal of artist and essayist Danny Gregory, Everyday Matters.

I can't even clearly describe how great this is. Go there, read from the beginning, be inspired. On one level, he is talking about drawing; but really, he is talking about being alive and experiencing life and really seeing what is going on around you.

Right away, I was struck by his post from January 5th. I was particularly captured by the line,

Don't seek beauty. See it.

Look, it's right there in front of you! How often do I fail to do this? How often am I looking ahead to the next thing and not appreciating what surrounds me? This is exactly what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it. How magical is that?

On Saturday, I bought a sketch book and some artists pens. I used to draw a lot right up until my freshman year in high school when I started doing well in science and math classes and decided that instead of being a graphic artist I would go to medical school. Well, I'm a doctor now, but not a medical doctor, and I haven't done any more than doodle in years.

I guess I don't draw anymore because I'm not a good as I used to be and it's just so damn hard to ignore that little voice--the same little voice that makes it necessary for me to turn off my comments. Well, take that, little voice! I'm going to draw anyway, just for me. [Nyah!]

Also on Saturday, I took a knotting [not knitting] class at the bead shop down the street. [Hey, another hobby to buy supplies for!] I don't know how far I'll go with the beading, but it's fun to try something new and play with an unfamiliar medium. In my mind, I've already designed a hundred necklaces and bracelets that I will probably never make. Doesn't matter.

Ah, but the funny thing about moving into all these new areas is that they are inspiring me in all my familiar domains too. The writing I've been stuck on at work became much easier this week, and yarn is calling to me again.

See what else I picked up on Saturday.

I don't know what these will be, but I'm itching to play.

just to clarify

There is no comment link on the previous post because I'm not looking for comments; I'm expressing my feelings. If you feel like commenting, please feel free to send me an E-mail.

A few people who have written have focused on my experience at MS&W. I described that situation poorly. I did not mean to imply that there was malicious intent or mean-spiritedness on anyone's part. The important part is what I said right before that:

The problem with that expectation is that it's not as simple as that. I hadn't done my work ahead of time. I had no specific plans to meet anyone and no one knows what I look like.

I had unrealistic expectations. I planned poorly. I was naive and thought that just showing up was enough. I set myself up for disappointment and I took the fall. Life lesson learned...I hope.

But that's just a small part of what's going on with me. Overall, I'm discontented and the discontent comes with a self-imposed need to please. To quote myself again,

I was taking myself and the blog too seriously and I had to step back.

I enjoy many of the aspects of blogging: writing, taking pictures, sharing links and information. There are other parts I could do without. I'm thinking about closing down comments permanently and staying away from my stats altogether. I would still be reachable via email. I know other bloggers have done this or have considered doing this.

I don't know if that's the solution. There are some other things I'm doing to get out from this subtle oppression I feel to knit more, knit faster, buy more yarn, and write funnier or more informative posts. [Once again, self-imposed oppression]. I knit because I like to knit: not because I'm trying to make money, not because I'm trying to impress people, not because I'm trying to make the world a better place. I have other ways to do all these things. Knitting is what I do for fun. I need it to actually be fun. Pressure is not fun.

Taking May off was good for me, not because I wasn't blogging, but because I was thinking. In the last couple of weeks I haven't continue to think; I slipped back into my old habits and I lost my balance. I would like to find a way to keep thinking and still blog. I'd like to get back in balance.

Once again, feel free to send me an email.

blogging isn't fun anymore

I either have to find a way to make it enjoyable again or I have to quit.

Increasingly lately, I seem to have fewer and fewer relevant things to say [if I ever did].

I try hard blog for my own amusement. I try to write the kind of blog I would like to read. However, I can't say that I'm not tempted to do or say things that I think will amuse or attract others. The problem is, when I try too hard to do those things, and especially when they don't work, I end up disappointed.

Knit blogging has boomed in the year and a half since I started. There is so much more to choose from now; and, while the overall quality may not have increased, the number of high quality options among the lot has grown.

There are terrific and talented knitters who write about creative and interesting projects. There are wonderful writers who are a joy to read whether they are writing about knitting or not. There are knitters with fun and bubbly personalities and knitters who lead quirky and interesting lives. Knitters with spouses and children and pets and posses. There are knitters who buy lots of beautiful yarn or spin their own. Knitters who write patterns and alter patterns and take risks in their knitting. There are knitters who give and who receive. Knitters who knit along and frog together.

And then there's me, morose me. I have a cat. I never finish a project.

I'm not a sob sister, I can't spill my guts onto the screen for you all to pick through. I'm not especially looking for support or sisterhood or friends4ever. But then, it's unfair for me to be sullen when I'm not getting that. I'm famous for being unreasonable.

I woke up the 1st of May eager to go to the Maryland Sheep & Wool Festival. I was looking forward to meeting some of my favorite knitbloggers and to feel the instant bond that I've heard is formed when a fellow knit bloggers meet.

The problem with that expectation is that it's not as simple as that. I hadn't done my work ahead of time. I had no specific plans to meet anyone and no one knows what I look like. I was thrilled to meet a group of A-list bloggers who I recognized. My people! They weren't very impressed with me and ditched me when I wasn't looking.

Yes, it was that bad. No, I don't blame them; I am one hell of a buzz-kill. [ETA: I don't believe there was any malicious intent].

That's most of why I didn't blog in May. I was taking myself and the blog too seriously and I had to step back. I didn't want to blog about my pain and disappointment until I felt that I had gained some perspective on it. I had found that perspective, but now I've lost it again.

That's not all that's bothers me. The well is deep and foul all the way down. We don't need to dip into it any further.

I'm not sure just what I'm looking for out of this experience. I do know that I don't like what I'm getting.

mirror, mirror

I tend not to post pictures of myself for a number of reasons.

1) Lack of FOs: Because I rarely ever finish anything, I rarely have anything to model; although, I suppose the causality on this one could be the other way around. Maybe I never finish anything because then I would have to model it.

2) I have no good way to get a picture of myself: I don't have a live-in photographer and the cat lacks the manual (pawual?) dexterity to handle the camera. I have yet to master 'the Rachael' and I don't own a tripod. I've tried the mirror shot, but I've never gotten decent results with that method.

3) I don't like to have my picture taken: I'm sure this is what's really at the root of reasons #1 and #2. I'm always disappointed when I see myself in pictures. I look at myself everyday in the mirror, you think I'd know what I look like; but somehow, the frozen image never matches up with the image of myself I carry in my head.

I don't understand how this works. I guess it's a trick of the mind that allows you to compile the individual glances of yourself in the mirror into a whole. And yet, I can never really focus on the whole me. This doesn't seem to be the way things work when looking at others. Most of the time, I see pictures of other people and think, "Yup, that looks just like him or her." I must be constructing the images of other people, and the whole world, from dynamic, overlapping samples the same way I do for myself; however, there is a disconnect between seeing myself and seeing the world. I think my representation of the wold is accurate, but my representation of myself is distorted.

Can I ever see myself accurately? Am I really seeing the world the way that it is? What do other people see when they look at me or themselves? How do you see yourself?

I used the Portrait Illustration Maker at this site to make the icon of me at the top of this post. This is more or less how I see myself (maybe even a little better). Those of you who know (or think they know) what I look like can tell me how good a job I did.

Spot the boo boo, little buddy

While working on the felted baby bear, I came across the following situation. Things just weren't working out and I had to make a very slight alteration.

Start with 20 stitches. k = knit, m = make. Now, follow these directions:

k3, m1, k1, m1, k3, cast off the next 6 sts, k3, m1, k1, m1, k3.

See the problem? I see a problem. Or, at least, I couldn't make it work this way.

I found a solution that worked for me. What would you have done?

[Click below for my solution].

I changed the original line to:

k3, m1, k1, m1, k3, cast off the next 6 sts, k2, m1, k1, m1, k3.

After the cast off stitches, there will be a stitch left on the needle. Therefore, knit one less stitch after the cast off stitches.

Earth-shattering or complicated? No, especially compared to some of the fantastic and inspiring alterations made to patterns by knitters like Bonne Marie. However, everyone has to start somewhere. For some knitters, stepping outside of the lines, even to fix a mistake in a pattern, is unthinkable.

I'm much more flexible when it comes to knitting than I am in the rest of my life. In life, it's not always clear how to change the pattern to make things come out even.

Cicada's Song

Now that the majority of the cicadas have done the nasty and gone on to their great reward, I suppose I'd better order a passel of these of these dead bug funeral kits and get to work.

The cicada invasion wasn't nearly as disturbing as I thought it would be. Although their presence was noticeable, it was hardly the 1950s horror movie I had anticipated.

I envisioned needing to shovel a path to the car every morning through a freshly fallen layer of cigar butt-shaped carcasses with beady little red eyes. I imagined being driven mad by the ceaseless cacophony of their calls. [The shrieking and the screaming of the bugs, bugs, bugs, bugs, bugs.] I wished that there were still phone booths with doors that closed so I could find refuge like Tippi Hedren in The Birds.

Alas, two months of working myself up into a fine frothy frenzy over cicadas was all for naught. They came, they mated, they died. I could hear them, but I didn't even have to turn up the TV. There was no wading through the bodies, no wildly thrashing sprint to the car, no pelting rain of sex-crazed bugs. I feel cheated.

Maybe it would have helped if I had gotten my cicada information from a reputable source instead of the other one I found [but really, it said it was America's cicada authority].

Without much ado, they are all but gone: the Brigadoon of the insect world, appearing once every 17 years for a brief moment in the sun. The birds will miss them; and the dogs too, for whom they must have made it seem like a trunk full of doggie treats had spilled its load everywhere. I barely got to know them, and now they've disappeared.

Farewell disturbing little friends! I'll see your children in another 17 years.

[Thanks to Kerstin for the copy editing help].

untitled post #3

I truly appreciate the concern for me that many people have expressed during my posting hiatus and since my return. Rest assured that all is well with me, at least to the extent that is within my power.

The fact that I am contemplating why happiness is scary is because I am flirting with actually feeling happy, and as Chelsea points out, this can be a risk. It's unrealistic when we hold on to happiness too tightly and expect it to last forever. We say to ourselves, "OK, this is it, I am finally happy." But everlasting happiness isn't guaranteed any more than is everlasting pain.

To feel happiness, to know that it will end, to let it go and believe that it will come again. That's a risk. That's where the fear comes from. But, this is still so much better than being unhappy and "knowing" that it will never end.

[On the knitting front: I've started a second bear. As 'the' Michelle points out, these could make good kitty (or doggy) toys. One of these bears may be destined to be partially stuffed with catnip and offered in sacrifice to the furry, gray goddess].

I bearly know you...

...but I think I'll like you.

You would think that I would have every size and length of circular knitting needle possible. However, I haven't been able to find the one I've been looking for around here, so I broke down and stopped at the store yesterday to pick up what I needed.

While I was there, I browsed through the pattern racks and ended up bringing home the pattern and yarn for Fiber Trends' Felted Baby Bears. [Scroll to the bottom of the left-hand column for the pattern]. The pattern uses short rows to give the snout, head, and tummy dimension.

I finished the front last night and the back today. This was an extremely fast knit; although, with all the shaping, you do have to pay attention to what you are doing on almost every row.

The yarn I'm using is Reynolds' Lite-Lopi so he's going to be a rough 'n' ready little fellow and not ideal for cuddling. I'm hoping that a sweet face will be able to make up for his abrasive character. I've never tried felting Lopi before, but it is 100% wool. It ought to work. If I like the results, I can imagine an entire army of little bears invading here.

untitled post #2

Why is it so scary to be happy, or even to be content?

untitled post #1

Let's see. There's something I'm supposed to be blogging about. Something... Something... Just give me a minute; it will come to me.

...

Huh? What was that you said? Knitting? Well, I'll be danged it that isn't it. Knitting.

Knitting.

...

What? Oh, sorry, glazed over there for a moment. [shake it off, shake it off].

OK, the topic of today's post will be knitting...sort of.

I have been knitting...some. All the pieces of the Everyday Cardigan are finished. However, it apparently has been so long since I assembled a sweater that I forgot to block the pieces before I started to join the shoulder seams. Alas, I believe it will be best to remove the one shoulder seam I've completed and wash and block before continuing—a job worth doing and all that rot.

Most of the knitting on the second sleeve was done in the car, on the way up to, and on the train, on the way back from, New York City. I was there all last week for a conference.

While I was there...

You did lots of knitting.

Actually, no. No knitting in New York.

No knitting!? Did you at least visit a few of NYCs fabled yarn shops? A couple? One?

No, I didn't. I didn't shop for yarn, nor did I get on the Internet to read about knitting all week. I even managed to temporarily silence the little voice in my head that ceaselessly composes blog entries about everything I do and see. In short, I lived a happy, normal knit blog-less life.

Hey, wait a minute! That's what you call knitting content? This post isn't about knitting; it's mostly about not knitting.

Well, I did mention knitting on the train. Doesn't that count?

Did you at least take pictures?

No. I brought my camera, but I was having such a lovely time that it never made it out of the case.

Instead of knitting I found time to go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Guggenheim Museum, and the American Folk Art Museum as well as attend a baseball game and a taping of The Late Show with David Letterman. And all of that was in addition to eating, drinking, networking and something else... Oh yeah, attending the conference.

This was my first visit to New York and I had a blast. I didn't have time to even think about knitting or NYC yarn shops; although, now that I've visited once, you can be sure that I'm looking for a way to get back.

OK, but next time you had better make sure there is some knitting involved.

Fair enough. And, in lieu of knitting or travel shots, I give you...

...the cat on the new hallway rug.

Lessons Learned in May

No matter how educated we are, when it comes to social interaction, most of us are doomed to repeat the third grade the rest of our lives.

Don't be suprised when people aren't nice to you, or when they are.

When life is throwing darts at you, it's better to be small and solid than big and full of hot air.

99% of the stuff you worry about will never happen; the 1% that does will give you more than enough to whine about. Don't go looking for trouble.

You may do everything "right" and still get blamed when things go wrong. Be true to yourself and your beliefs; then, no matter the outcome, you can face your strongest critics with confidence and a peaceful heart.

No one else is more obligated to look out for your physical and mental health than you are. Don't expect others to help you if you won't pitch in too. However, if you need help, ask for it and keep asking.